The Kansas Experience

We at BillCallahanSucks.com felt that this would be a great week for field research on our beloved and terrible Cornhuskers. What better week to turn around our spirits, right? KU, while undefeated, had yet to really play any top-tier team and with Joe Ganz at the helm the opportunity to pull out a big red victory seemed like a possibility.

Below is a slightly accurate time-line of events that occurred during The Kansas Experience.

11.03.07

2:32am - After a long night of war-room like strategic chatter at various establishments, including the world famous Cigar Box, the BCS.com team decides to rest their livers for the next 4 hours.

6:40am - With hangovers and horse-voices in full effect, the BCS.com team awakens to the realization that 50% of their ticket allotment seems to be missing. Calls are made and search parties are organized.

7:14am - Forensic research leads the BCS.com team to a pine-tree located outside of the BCS.com world headquarters. A mysterious envelope labeled "Nebraska," containing the missing tickets, is located. BCS.com mutually agrees and believes Maker's Mark Whiskey to be at fault for the mishap.

7:48am - The BCS.com team picks up the final addition for The Kansas Experience, Big Ten Ben, and the trek to Lawrence ensues. Rockstar Energy Drinks with Vodka are consumed in festive Halloween Boo mugs.

8:37am - The BCS.com team arrives in Lawrence and begins integrating with natives of the University. The team quickly associates itself with other a Husker tailgaters by purchasing an inexpensive parking spot for $50 at a fraternity house. (Very good deal)


9:28am - As research is conducted the BCS.com team quickly learns many Jayhawk fans are quite nice. With a school that's football team is more than likely going to win the national championship and strong fan-base of mock turtle-neck wearers, why wouldn't you be?

10:21am - Reports begin to surface that Osborne has instituted the option attack back into the offensive scheme. The BCS.com team decides to try and re-live mid-90s glory, riling up Huskers fans by creating a pseudo atmosphere not unlike 72nd and Dodge or O Street.

11:29am - The walk towards KU's high school football field is initiated. Good feelings are exchanged between all Jayhawk fans the BCS.com team has contact with.

11:49am - Points.

12:31pm - It becomes apparent to this reporter that Bill and Cosgrove had the Husker D watching quite a bit of film in preparation for the Jayhawks. Film's with Bette Midler are Callahan's favorite.

1:17pm - As the first half comes to an end, the other half of the BCS.com team wakes up to take the score in. Seeing it he thinks the game is over and returns to slumber.

2:14pm - Somewhere in the ESPN studios Lou Holtz begins to spit on his co-workers.

2:29pm - The BCS.com team conducts interviews with some of the KU fan base, while it exits the shadows of the stadium. Upon interviewing one female student, another BCS.com reporter was pushed down a hill, incurring some grass stains on his Callahan-like-beige-press-conference-sweater.

3:11pm - More crack and vodka is consumed, as the West Coast Offense's flaws are discussed with any fan in the vicinity of a 60 foot radius. Many agree Callahan has done a terrific job....ruining a program.

3:34pm - The "Drive Of Shame," begins as the exodus from Lawrence starts. Some possible obscenities are exchanged with basically anyone with blue on that will listen.


Current time today - The 76 points put up by Kansas are still inflecting pain within the lower intestinal region of the BCS.com crew....luckily Notre Dame lost to Navy, which makes the whole day seem worth while.

Omaha.com article on this week's embarrassment.

In Bill We Trust,

Cill Ballahan